The Scientist PREQUEL TO DESTINY ISLANDS
by i8thecake
Summary: She left when they were five. He's 13 now, but... "I feel so heartless. Numb. Blind to my surroundings, blind to what’s right in front of me. But, more importantly, I’m blind to myself. How I feel – even the way I think – changes. And it’s not fun."
1. Just Can't Stop

**Alright, here it is! Choice 2, A Pre-quel to Destiny Islands, from Riku's POV :) Requested by hornedjolteon and the Cute One!**

**EVEN THOUGH THIS IS A PREQUEL, you should read Destiny Islands first, to better understand,  
and _THIS GIVES AWAY INFORMATION FROM DESTINY ISLANDS!  
_So if you plan on reading Destiny Islands, read that first, and then read this.**

**Enjoy! xD**

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Chapter 1

_"Melody's … she… well, she moved to a different town, Ri—"_

"_Riku, she's gone. I'm so sorry."_

"_What happened, son? I thought you were going to the movies with her tonight."_

"_Well, now that _she's _gone, maybe _we _can hangout!"_

…Sora, Kairi, my dad, and Selphie's reactions. Sora was the first to break it to me.

If only _she _were here. Melody. I miss her. I miss the way she walked, she talked, she listened to everyone's issues – even the way she _breathed_. But of course, I'll never see her again. Because I did god-knows-what to her.

Or is it possible that she got the wrong idea when she saw Selphie and I?

I sighed. That's probably why.

_Flashback:_

_A few hours after that I told Melody I loved her, I was walking through the beach, thinking of what happened earlier on that day._

_Suddenly, Selphie came up to me._

"_Um… hi?" I said. I never really liked Selphie, I just pretended to so that she would stop bothering me all the time._

"_Hey, Riku!" she said a little too excited._

_I sighed, annoyed. "Look, Selph, what do you want this time?!"_

_She looked slightly hurt, but decided to say it anyway. She mumbled something that I couldn't hear, and then said, "…and I just wanted to let you know that I love you, too," Selphie said to me._

_I saw a blur that looked like Melody running away, and was about to run after her, but Selphie stopped me. "Riku?" she said. "Did you hear me? I said I love you too!"_

_I turned to Selphie, and I could feel that my eyes were on fire, my nostrils were flaring, and my face was stony. "Selphie, what the heck? I don't love you! I never will love you! I never even said I loved you!"_

_Selphie frowned. "But Tiddus and Wakka came to me and told me that you said—"_

_I threw my hands up. "Then that was just Tiddus and Wakka! I never said anything like that. I don't feel that way about you, Selphie. I never have, and I never will. I love someone else, not you."_

_Selphie's face fell, and as she turned around to leave, I called, "Sorry, Selphie."_

_End._

That was eight years ago, when I was five. _Five_. And that's not _probably _why she moved. That _is _why she moved.

I sighed once again and felt my feet carry me to the beach.

On my way to the beach, I always stop by this way-to-familiar looking house, that's white with teal window shades and has a floor-long porch along the second floor.

I closed my eyes and tried to make it stop. The pain was back again.

"_Melody! Melody, I know you're here! This isn't funny!"_

_I stopped in my tracks, breathless. There was a note on the floor, which was addressed to me:_

'**Riku,**

**I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU LIED TO ME ABOUT LOVING ME! NOT ONLY THAT, BUT THEN YOU GO TELL SELPHIE THAT YOU LOVE HER?! What the heck, Riku!**

**Basically, Riku, I don't love you anymore…**

**I HATE YOU! YOU SUCK! You should DIE!**

—**Melody Kneller**

**PS: Oh, and DON'T go looking for me. You won't find me, I PROMISE.**

**PPS: I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE! Ha, but you don't know where I live!'**

_She said I should die… Maybe that's not such a bad idea._

I opened my eyes quickly, so the pain would die down a little.

So much changed that day.

I forced myself to walk to the beach. It was true, that because of the route I had to take (to pass by _her_ house), I didn't always make it to the beach. I don't like moping. Not over anyone. But I can't stop thinking about her; and I haven't been able to stop for the past eight years.

I just can't help but wonder… what would happen if we still knew each other now, when we were thirteen years old, and not five. Would she be my girlfriend? Would I be her boyfriend?

I finally got to the beach, and I lay down on the sand. I could feel the sun's warmth on my skin, and it felt good. I always liked the islands.

All right, I'll make a confession. This is so bad; I'm thinking of Melody, when really I should be thinking of Olette. That's right. It's true; I've had many girlfriends since Melody, but I just don't love them the way I loved her. In fact, I don't even love them. I just _like _them. But I always end up breaking up with them anyway; so it's only a matter of time.

I wish I were in Sora's position; he may not _realize _it – because, well, he's _Sora_, the most oblivious person in the world – but Kairi loves him back. And I _know _they'll end up together in the end. They're Sora and Kairi. Kairi and Sora…

Melody and Riku. Riku and Melody. It has the same ring to it. But I know we won't end up together. I'll never see that girl again. And this time…

I just…

I feel so _heartless._ Numb. Like I can't _feel _anymore. When I'm numb, I'm blind. Blind to my surroundings, blind to what's right in front of me. But, more importantly, I'm blind to _myself_. How I feel – even the way I _think _– changes. And it's not fun.

But… life goes on. For now.

I think I'll call Olette soon. I really want to see her. The deal with us is, I hear from Hayner that she really really likes me. And I feel bad because I can't stop thinking about Melody. But I'm going to try to make this work, because we all deserve to get what we want. And by _we,_I mean Olette, me … and Melody. Wherever she is, whatever she's doing. She's _probably_had lots of boyfriends by now. I mean, we liked each other more than you think five year olds can like each other. Wow. What I just said sounded _so _retarded. Five year olds don't know what "like" is, or even what "love" is. So _why_ did we know?

* * *

"Hey, Sora. It's Riku. Can I come in?"

My spiky-haired friend opened the door for me to come in. "Hey, Riku. What's up?" He paused. "Are you okay? You look … pale."

My eyebrows crinkled. They did that when I was confused. "What do you mean? I've been in the sun all day."

Sora shrugged. "I don't know… but you like kinda sick. Do you want water or something?"

I guess even the thought of her – or the thought of her gone –makes me sick. "Yeah." I entered Sora's kitchen and took a seat on one of the stools near the counter.

"Riku – " Sora paused and sighed – "I know you're thinking about her. But you have to stop. You're going out with Olette…"

I could tell by the look on his face that he was hoping I'd agree. I sighed. "I know, Sora. But… I just can't stop—"

_I just can't stop  
__I just can't stop, no  
__  
And I just can't pull myself away  
__Under her spell I can't break  
__I just can't stop…_

"—Thinking about her…" I said the rest of my sentence slowly, listening to the radio. Wasn't it weird how it was synchronized with my thoughts, my words? That never happened when I thought of my other girlfriends; probably just a coincidence.

Sora was dazed by it, too. "That's kinda weird. Here's your water."

I took the water, and I gulped it down in no less than five seconds. Amazing, isn't it? When you're so sad, and moping about, that you don't even realize that you're thirsty. "What should I do?" I asked slowly.

"I think you should end it. Don't play with Olette's emotions."

"I'm not trying to."

"But you are. Kinda. So end it."

"I will. Next time I see her."

"Oh yeah, Riku. There's something I have to show you. I'll be right back."

Sora came out with what looked like a gift, and handed it to me. "I know how much you always wanted one. She had one just like it, too."

I opened the box. There was a silver iPod nano.

Sora rolled his eyes. "Don't ask. Kairi wanted it to match you're hair."

I laughed for what felt like the first time in years. "Thank you. So much."

Sora nodded. "Sure. Oh, and all you're songs are on here already. I was sure to get all the Coldplay songs."

"Thanks," I said again, "but … why'd you do it?"

Sora looked confused. "Why wouldn't I? It's your birthday today!" Sora covered his mouth.

"What?!" Was it my birthday? I looked at Sora's calendar; it was July 23rd. I sighed. I didn't even know that my birthday was anywhere near. "It's okay, I'll act surprised at the party tonight," I added, seeing the look on my friend's face.

"Thanks, dude. You don't know what Kairi would do to me if she found out that _you_ found out because of me…"

I raised my eyebrows. "And what would she do?"

Sora gave me a "_haha_, _very funny_" look. "She'd kill me."

"Why do I find that so easy to belive…?" I mumbled.

"What?"

"What?"

"Huh?"

I hit Sora on the back of the head. "Sora, don't be dumb." I looked at the clock. "I have to go. My mom expects me back soon. But thanks for the present … and everything."

I left and put the earphones of my new silver nano in my ear. I looked at all my Coldplay songs – Don't Panic, Talk, Trouble, What If, Spies, Clocks, Speed of Sound, Viva la Vida, In My Place, Violet Hill, Fix You, The Hardest Part, and last but _not _least, The Scientist.

_Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry  
__You don't know how lovely you are.  
__I had to find you, tell you I need you,  
__Tell you I set you apart._

_Tell me your secrets and ask me your questions,  
__Oh lets go back to the start.  
__Running in circles, Comin' up Tails  
__Heads on a science apart._

_Nobody said it was easy,  
__It's such a shame for us to part.  
__Nobody said it was easy,  
__No one ever said it would be this hard.  
__Oh take me back to the start._

_I was just guessin' at numbers and figures,  
__Pulling your puzzles apart.  
__Questions of science, science and progress  
__Do not speak as loud as my heart._

_And tell me you love me, come back and haunt me  
__Oh and I rush to the start.  
__Runnin' in circles, Chasin' up Tails  
__Comin' back as we are_

_Nobody said it was easy,  
__Oh it's such a shame for us to part.  
__Nobody said it was easy,  
__No one ever said it would be so hard._

_I'm goin' back to the start._

_Ahhhh oooooo  
__Ahhhh oooooo  
__Ahhhh oooooo…_

My favorite Coldplay song, The Scientist. I always imagined it to be _our _song. Mel always liked science-y things, I guess. She liked the trees, the plants, the sky, the earth…

But she loved me. Love_d_. With a "d" at the end.

I took off my shoes, and once stepped again stepped onto the warm sand of the beach. Truth was, my mom didn't really need me back home. I just can't stand being with Sora that much anymore.

He reminds me a little bit of her.

I know it sounds weird, but it's not; it's kind of simple, actually:

When we were younger – all of us; Kairi, Sora, Melody, and me – Sora and Melody were like brother and sister. And I guess they already were alike in so many ways, that Melody just rubbed off on Sora even more.

But – lately – it's not only Sora I'm avoiding. Tiddus, Wakka, Kairi, Olette, my parents, and - especially – Selphie. The only person who I spend a lot of my time with now is… myself. But to make that official, I'll call up Olette and tell her to meet me by the Shake Shack. That way, if she's upset about the break up, well at least she'll have some food to calm her down.

And that's what I liked about Mel the most…. She was so _different_. She would never eat her emotions, and she's not like most of the girls in my class – meaning, she doesn't stalk me, she doesn't wear revealing clothes…. Maybe she's changed.

Maybe… maybe _I've_ changed.

* * *

**Should I continue? Review and let me know what you think about the chapter!**


	2. Thirteen Going on Fourteen

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Alrighty! Chapter 2 is up! Hope you like :)

Please R&R! Thanks to those who have already!

PS: Don't worry, starting next chapter, Riku isn't annoying (whiny) anymore!

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Chapter 2

_Younger versions of Sora, Kairi, and me were walking through the beach in Destiny Islands, when Kairi claimed she saw a familiar-looking girl. She had brown eyes and brown-blonde hair. We ran up to her._

"_Hey," said Kairi. "I've seen you before, haven't I?"_

"_Yeah, I think we're in the same kindergarten class," said the girl with brown-blonde hair._

"_Cool! Well, my name is Kairi. These are my friends, Sora and Riku."_

"_Hey, Kairi, Sora, Riku. My name is Melody."_

"_Hey, do you want to hang out with us?" asked Sora._

"_Sure," said Melody._

"_Awesome!" I said._

_Melody smiled at me._

I woke up, sweating. How many times was it now that I've had that dream? I frowned as I got out of my bed and looked at my clock. It was only five o'clock, so I'd still be in time for my "surprise" party (all thanks to Sora; not that I care, though).

I got a phone call from Sora telling me to come over to his house and reminding me not to mention anything to Kairi about me not being surprised.

As soon as I entered Sora's house, I could hear a chorus of "Happy birthday, Riku!" I put on a smile and walked over to Sora and Kairi, my two best friends. Olette came running to me and hugged me, and I told her that later I have something important to tell her. She seemed to pick up on the fact that it _was _important, and nodded her head.

I could tell she knew what was coming, and I felt bad.

_Blank. Empty. Incomplete._

_Try to feel—  
__Try to be complete.  
__Try to be open,  
__Try to __**breathe**__._

_Trapped,  
__Choked,  
__Suffocating._

_Need to escape.  
__Need to get out._

_Searching,  
__Searching,  
__Searching…_

_Trying to find what is needed,  
__What is missing.  
__So desperate so,  
__Settle down to easily._

…_Still incomplete._

_Completeness—  
__Real, or a fantasy?_

_Or clearly meant to be…  
__Blank.  
__Empty.  
__Incomplete._

I tore my eyes away from that piece of poetry. It always got to me.

About an hour into the party, I figured I might as well tell Olette now. So I walked up to her. "Hey, Olette, we have to talk."

She nodded her head. "O-okay. Do we need to go somewhere private?"

"Yeah, follow me to Sora's room."

I led her up the stairs to Sora's room and closed the door behind me. I sighed and looked at her. I opened my mouth to say something, but she spoke first.

"Look, Riku, I know what's coming…"

I'll I could muster was an, "I'm so sorry. I'm going through a tough time. A girlfriend just isn't what I need right now…"

Olette nodded her head. "Of course, Riku. The whole _'it's not you, it's me'_ speech. Whatever. It's okay, I get it! You never _really _liked me that much anyway, just don't deny it. I'm not mad."

I just looked at the floor. Why all of a sudden did I feel like such a coward?

She continued, her voice a little shaky. "But I really like you, Riku. If you ever change your mind…"

"Can we still be friends?" I dared to ask.

She hesitated. As she left the room, Olette squeezed my arm.

I like Olette a lot – I guess, as a friend. It was just never that way for her.

After that, I went back downstairs to the party. Kairi could tell something was up, and we talked alone in Sora's dad's workroom. "Hey," she said, putting her hand on my shoulder, "what's wrong?"

I sighed. "Kai, I … I can't stop thinking about her. I had to break up with Olette."

Kairi's eyes drooped, as if they were frowning. She really felt my pain. "I know, Riku. I miss Mel, too. I know I don't miss her nearly as much as you, and I'm just so… so _sorry _it had to happen like that. It messed you up."

I nodded. "It's been getting worse lately. I don't even know why."

She hugged me, which right then was better than words. Kairi was one of my best friends, along with Sora, but only time will tell – I don't know if our friendship will last, since she hangs out with Selphie. Hopefully she won't, but Kairi may turn out like her.

I always felt I could talk more about Mel with Kairi; actually, that's not fairly true since Sora and Melody may as well have been brother and sister. But Kairi really gets me (but of course not in the way she gets Sora because we're just friends). "Kairi, I've been having these dreams… flashbacks. It's always the same one, of when we first became friends with her, on the beach."

She smiled sadly. "See, now what would you have done if it wasn't for me introducing her to everyone?" She shook her head. "It's all my fault," Kairi whispered.

I smiled my first real smile that day. "You're right, it is. If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't know what I'm missing."

Kai looked at me weird.

"No sarcasm," I said. "I mean that in a good way…"

"…Although you're sad about it?"

"Yeah, it's … complicated. I'm not even sure I know why."

Kairi sighed and grabbed both my shoulders. "Look, you have Sora and me. I know that's not as much as having Mel as well, but …. We're here for you, Riku. Just remember that." She pulled me into a hug.

I nodded. "Thanks, Kai."

She dragged me out of the room. "Now, let's go have some fun!" We went out to the dance floor and started dancing.

* * *

Next thing I knew, I woke up in an unfamiliar place. I sat up and looked around; I was on Sora's living room couch. What happened last night?

"_Riku! Riku, wake up!"_

"_Quick, somebody, get an ambulance!"_

_Faces from all around started gathering around me._

"_What's going on?" I mumbled._

"_Don't tell me you have Alzheimer's! Quick, what's your name?"_

"_Kairi, I don't have that. I'm Riku."_

_Silence – _

_And then all I saw was black._

Oh, right. I passed out because of – what did that doctor say? – dehydration or something.

I sighed and looked around the room again.  
I don't see what all the fuss is about. Everyone says that there's a big difference from being thirteen years old to being fourteen. I haven't felt anything yet. Then again, I guess I can't speak because I haven't even spent one day as an official fourteen year old.

I looked at the clock, and it was already eleven in the morning. I got out of the couch, and headed towards Sora's room. I was about to go in, but then I heard voices.

"Kairi, he's been bothered lately."

I heard a sigh. "I know. Riku's always been a little … bothered … by her absence, but now it's really starting to get to him."

"What should we do?"

"Is there anything we can do, Sora?"

I was standing up before, but then I let myself slide down the wall to come to a sit at the floor, and I buried my face in my hands. _'What am I doing?'_ I thought. Their words echoed through my head. '_Sora and Kairi are worried about me.'_

"Hey, do you hear something?" I heard Sora's voice say.

"Maybe Riku woke up. Let's go check."

I didn't know what to do. Should I let them find me here, or go downstairs and pretend to have just woken up? Well, I didn't have time to think….

…Which is why they found me sitting on the floor near Sora's room. "Riku?!" Sora said.

"Hey, man," I said.

Kairi helped me up. "What are you doing?" she asked.

I shrugged, at a loss for words.

She rolled her eyes and turned to Sora. "See, I told you he'd wake up and overhear us talking!"

Sora stuttered. "W-well…"

"Guys," I said, "it's fine. I don't care."

Kairi gave me an _'Oh, really?' _look, so I said, "What, you don't think that when you're not here, Sora doesn't talk about you?"

Kairi blushed and Sora kicked me in the shin. I rolled my eyes. "You know what I mean." It was true, but what I just said had a double meaning.

* * *

Sora and Kairi know I'm "bothered", but what they don't know is that I'm silently loosing my mind. Do you think I show this side of me to everyone else? Or even to them?

No. No… everyone still sees me as the stoic and apathetic Riku. Some even think I'm a player, which is untrue.

No one sees the real me. No one sees the me I'm hiding. No one sees _Riku_. They just see the Riku who's, apparently, an emotionless player. But what everyone else doesn't know won't hurt them. It only hurts _me_.

It's not like the whole islands knows what went down between Mel and me – wouldn't that be a bit creepy? Anyways, that's not my point. Maybe Sora and Kairi have figured it out. Or maybe just Kairi figured it out. Or maybe just Sora figured it out, but he was never the brightest among my friends. Yeah, they're my best friends, but they have their own lives, too. It's too hard to notice what's _really_ going on in my head.

You know, not everything that causes heartbreak has to be about boyfriends and girlfriends. I wish it wasn't. But in my world… it is. And I have this feeling that it's always going to stay like that.

Forever.


	3. Follow the Darkness

**Please R&R!  
I might not put the next chapter up 'til I get a few reveiws!**

**PS: I made Riku less annoying, don't worry.

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**

Chapter 3

It's been a little over half a year now since my fourteenth birthday party, and here's my new motto: if I could get through half of fourteen, I can get through fifteen. And then I'll get through sixteen, seventeen, eighteen… one year at a time. Slowly forgetting her. Right now, she's just a blur in my head.

But she's only a blur because I'm trying to make my memories of her fade away. No memories, no pain.

Kairi and I are slowly drifting apart as well because what I was afraid of happening is happening; since she's hanging out with Selphie a lot, she's gradually turning out like her. Maybe she'll change back. Maybe she won't. Right now, I can't stand her.

Poor Sora. He's affected by it too. He didn't like Selphie either, and now Kairi…. But whenever she's with him, she's her old self. (Hmm, I wonder why?!) Maybe Sora can get her to change back, but who knows? Only time will tell.

* * *

I turned around as I heard an annoyingly high-pitched voice scream, "Riku!"

I sighed. Great. "Selphie."

I hated her facial expression; she was always ecstatic, and dumb, just so dumb. "What are you doing tonight?"

"Not hanging out with you," I said. Maybe I've held a grudge against her because of what happened when I was younger, with her telling me that she loved me. Or maybe she just annoys the crap out of me! She's just so bubbly, _all the time_.

Her face fell. Another thing I hated about her facial expressions; they were readable, but a little too readable. "Oh. Well Kairi was going to hang out with Sora, so I was just thinking if you weren't doing anything—"

I snorted. "What, like a date?"

No response.

There was a moment of silence, so I just decided I'd walk away.

'_Did she just ask me out?_' I thought. _'Did she think I'd say yes? To her? For real?' _

I shook my head as I entered the Shake Shack, where I bumped into another one of my _favorite_ people. I rushed by her, hoping she wouldn't see me.

"Hey, Riku!" Kairi called.

Too late. I swear, it's like Destiny Islands has been invaded by annoying people; do they all just get together and think '_Oh, I'm going to go here so that I can annoy Riku!_'.

Why am I so paranoid?

"Hey," I said.

She patted the chair next to her. "Sit down."

'_What if I don't want to?'_ I thought as I took a seat. Why was I even sitting down anyway? Why don't I just walk away from Kairi like I walked away from Selphie? I guess in my mind she's the same old Kairi. I miss her.

"So," I said, "I hear you and Sora have plans tonight."

The old Kairi would blush and nod her head, but the new one just said, "You heard right. I'm so excited!" Her eyes lit up.

I sighed, annoyed at the new Kairi. "Don't get your hopes up. You know Sora never makes the first move. He's so oblivious."

She shrugged and rolled her eyes. "Don't you think I know that?"

I decided I had had enough, and I got up from my chair. "Well, I should hope so." And with that, I walked away, leaving a confused Kairi behind. I could read from her face – another trait she got from Selphie – that she didn't know what she did wrong that made me walk away.

Couldn't she see what she was becoming?

* * *

As I entered my room, the first thing I did was take out my silver iPod nano, put on some Coldplay music, and open my secret cabinet. I took it out, the _Way To The Dawn_.

_Flashback:_

"_Sora says that our keyblades relate to ourselves – what were his exact words? Our __**souls**__," said Kairi._

_I snorted. "Right. I get why yours does, but how does Way To The Dawn 'relate to my soul'?"_

_She shrugged. "Well, dawn is the twilight before sunrise. Twilight's in the middle, not one thing and not another. There's some feeble sunlight, while the sun itself is still below the horizon."_

_She paused, and I could tell she was thinking of what to say next. "I guess you're sort of like that, too. You're always in the middle – you're never too happy, and you're never really that sad. Or at least you don't show it; you're kind of… stoic. And as for the sunlight and the sun's position – well, there's still some happiness in you, but ever since Mel left … let's say it this way; the sun has been below the horizon."_

_I looked at her, and my jaw dropped._

_End of Flashback._

My hands went over the engraved words – _Way to the Dawn _– on my keyblade, and it was then that I had a few revelations.

If I didn't like Destiny Islands so much, why stay here and suffer? We live in such a small, small world, which is part of other big ones. Why should I stay in the small world?

I want to see, to explore other worlds.  
I want to get out.

There were just a few problems…

Would I go alone? (Would Sora come?)  
What if I never want to go back home?  
What if I get lost?

And most importantly…  
What do I tell my mom?

It's one of the things that I just _know _has to happen. I'm different than everyoneelse in my family, and I think that when it's like that, it's like that for a reason.

So my reason is that I'm destined to explore other worlds and see what's out there. Let's just hope my mom buys it.  
Anyways, I'm fourteen and a half. I can take care of myself.

* * *

Okay, so I decided I _wouldn't_ tell my mom. I'd just leave a note on my bed in case anyone came searching for me.

I hope she doesn't have a heart attack or pass out or anything. She's always been kind of protective of me, especially since my dad got his face messed up by my so-called uncle.

Now all I have to do is tell Sora…

"Seriously, Riku?" he said when I told him. "Exploring other worlds?"

"What, haven't you ever wondered what's out there?"

He shrugged. "Haven't thought about it."

Oh. So I guess I was the only one who had. "Well, would you want to join me?"

"I haven't thought about that, either." He paused. "I don't know whether I'd want to leave all this behind…"

I knew by 'this' Sora meant Kairi. "Yeah, but Sora it's not like we'd never come back. We _are _coming back."

"We?"

I sighed. "Just let me know when you've made up your mind. But don't take too long; I plan to leave soon. Oh, and don't tell anyoneabout this."

"Deal."

With that, I walked out of Sora's house and back onto the beach.

Maybe it'd be best if he didn't come with me. If I just went alone, I'd be able to do whatever I wanted. I'd be able to think whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted. I could be happy when I wanted to be, I could be sad when I wanted to be. No one would be there to stop me; but then again, no one would be there to talk some sense into me. Which, I know, I need to be talked sense into _a lot _nowadays.

But honestly, it's been getting better. I'm slowly starting to let her fade away… fade away into the darkness.

* * *

I woke up the next morning panting with a cold sweat all over my body. I sat up straight away and tried to remember my dream, but I started blacking out and I eventually passed out.

When I awakened again, I finally remembered what my so-called dream was. I was just falling… falling… falling into the darkness. It embraced me, welcomed me even, lured me in, and eventually it crept up inside me and consumed me until there was nothing left. I _tried_ to fight the darkness, squirming and twitching and trying to summon _Way To The Dawn_, but everything I tried was just so futile! There was no light to keep me sane, not even 'the light at the end of the tunnel'. It was just… total and complete darkness; and I went mad. Finally, this big black blob that was about ten feet tall with antennas and yellow eyes appeared, and just as I was about to hit the bottom, I stopped. Then that … that creature tried to get me, but as it was ever so slowly reaching out to me, I woke up.

What a dream! Unless, maybe, it wasn't just a dream. I have a bad feeling – one of those gut feelings, where you can feel it in the pit of your stomach – about this. No, not just a bad feeling…

A _dark _feeling.

**(A/n: Foreshadowing! All right, I had to use some foreshadowing, I just learned **_**Romeo and Juliet**_** in school :P lol)**

* * *

That night, there was this _huge _storm. Like tornado huge. But I went outside anyway. I knew it wasn't smart at all, but I felt like something was pulling me outside.

I arrived at the dock, and there it was; just this big hole of darkness, consuming anything that was in its way. I took a step closer to the dock; I wasn't afraid of the darkness. Let it consume me! What good was I, anyway?

"Riku, no!" Sora called.

I turned around. "Sora?" I said, squinting my eyes.

He took a step closer to me. "Don't do it! You'll regret it! What if you go in and never come back? What if it eats you?"

I laughed darkly. "What, are you afraid of the dark or something? Well, don't be afraid of the dark! The dark should be afraid of us!"

"That made no sense."

I shrugged. "Maybe it did, maybe it didn't." _'You never were the brightest of my friends anyway,'_ I thought. (Did I actually just think that?!) "All I know is that I have to do this."

I stepped into the darkness. I felt it embrace me, welcome me, and lure me in. I held out my hand. "Care to join?"

Sora ran to grab my hand, but I could tell he had no intention of joining me, just pulling me out. "Riku! Riku! Ri…"

That was all I heard as the darkness crept up inside me and consumed me. Then, all I saw was black. And I was falling… falling … falling into the darkness. This time I didn't try to fight it. The cold embrace of the darkness felt rather … endearing. For once, I liked it better than the light.

Light can be so annoying; the way it shines in your eyes, the way it always persists…. The darkness is like a safe haven. If you don't want to be seen, you don't have to be since you're hidden by nighttime's cloak (the dark). It's relaxing, and it gives your eyes a break from the light.

It's like a place where you can rest, where you can feel relieved. And I don't know when this darkness, this dark hole, is going to end – which probably won't be anytime soon – so I'll just rest up. Whether it's going to be temporary or eternal rest, I don't know.

All I know is this: at the end of this dark tunnel (whenever that is), there won't be any light. And that's fine with me.

Maybe the world I'm supposed to explore isn't one of light; maybe it's one of dark.

* * *

I was awakened as I hit something hard. I opened my eyes, and I couldn't see anything.

"Welcome, Riku. We've been waiting for you," said a voice.I stood up and summoned my keyblade. "Who's there?"

The voice laughed. "Don't fight us, Riku. You're on our side now. The dark side. And this isn't a dream; there's no way out."

Well, what can I say? It's what I wanted. "So what do I do now?"

"Just follow the darkness."

"What?"

"Follow the darkness...."

The voice faded away as I once again felt myself fall into the darkness.  
And then all I could see was black.


	4. Finding a Way Out

**For some of these scenes (like towards the middle, when Riku and Sora are talking, and so on), I took direct quotes from the acutal Kingdom Hearts.**

**Please R&R!  
Enjoy xD**

* * *

**Chapter 4**

At the time, I thought falling into the darkness was the best thing that ever happened to me. I had power, unlimited power, and a new keyblade.

_Way to the Dawn _was locked up somewhere in one of my closets so that it wouldn't fall into the wrong hands. It was a pretty powerful keyblade, but not as powerful as the new one I got from Maleficent.

Though I had to obey orders from Maleficent, I knew that soon I would be the one giving commands. With each task, I'd get better and better at recruiting Heartless from all over.

But there's still one thing I'm missing…. the_ Kingdom Key_, a keyblade. Where would I find it?

"_Riku! It's me, Sora!" I heard a voice call when I was in Traverse Town._

"_Sora?" I murmured to myself._

_I turned around and there he was, as goofy as ever. Now he was even goofier looking since there was a duck and a dog standing next to him._

"_Riku! I new you'd come back!" He said._

_I backed away. "Not for long."_

_I can't get too close to him. It was then that I noticed something. "Sora, what are you holding?"_

_The duck and the dog nodded "no", but then Sora held up a keyblade. "You mean this? It's my keyblade, Riku."_

"_Can I see it?"_

_He handed it to me, and I looked at the keyblade. On the steel part, Kingdom Key was engraved. "__**You**__ have the __**Kingdom Key**__?!" _

_The duck and the dog exchanged glances at my remark._

"_I didn't know it was called that."_

_I handed it to him, frozen. What was I going to do? Steal the keyblade from Sora?_

_I turned around to leave._

"_Riku, where are you going?"_

"_Where I belong."_

_I turned into the next corner and disappeared into the portal of darkness._

Oh, right. Sora has it. I just have to wait 'till we meet next time. Then it won't be Sora's keyblade anymore.

It won't be on the light side. It'll be my keyblade; I'll make sure of it, even if it means betraying Sora. Why do you need friends when you can have infinite power?

What's that? "Get down here, boy!" Maleficent's voice rang through headquarters.

"What's going on?" I asked.

"The _Kingdom Key _bearer is on his way here. I want you to make sure that he doesn't leave with a heart."

I kept my face expressionless. "Got it."

* * *

  
The Beast fell to the ground.

"Stop!" called Sora.

"So, you finally made it. About time; I've been waiting for you," I said.  
"We've always been rivals, haven't we? You've always pushed me as I've always pushed you."

"Riku…"

"But it all ends here. There can't be two keyblade masters."

"What are you talking about?"

"Let the keyblade choose its true master!" I summoned the keyblade. Sora struggled with it, straining to keep it with him, but it came to me anyway. "Maleficent was right. You don't have what it takes to save Kairi. It's up to me. Only the keyblade master can open the secret door and change the world."

"But that's impossible," said Sora, with a blank face. "How did this happen? _I'm _the one who fought my way here with the keyblade!"

I chuckled. "You were just the delivery boy! Sorry, your part's over now. Here, go play hero with this," I said as I tossed him the Soul Eater, the wooden sword that Sora and I used to play with when we were friends.

Before I turned around to leave, I saw Sora fall to the ground.

The duck and dog followed me. "Wait up!" called the dog.

I laughed. This should be interesting.

"I'm Goofy," he said, "and this is Donald."

"And I'm Riku. What do you want?"

"Well, King Mickey told us to follow whoever has the Keyblade. So now we're following you," said Donald.

Wow. My own sidekicks.

* * *

I heard voices and footsteps:

"Be on your guard. They're close, I can feel it. Are you ready for them?" said a dark, deep voice.

More footsteps.

"Belle?!" the voice called out in distress. It was the Beast, of course. Then he screamed, and I heard doors closing.

"Quit while you can," I warned Sora.

"No! Not without Kairi."

I felt something weird – a presence perhaps – take over my body, mind, and soul. "The darkness will destroy you," the dark presence said, through using my body.

"You're wrong, Riku. The darkness may destroy my body, but it can't touch my heart. My heart will stay with my friends. It'll never die!"

"Really? Well, we'll just see about that!"

As a wave of darkness was about to hit Sora, the dog jumped in front of him and said, "Sora ain't gonna go anywhere!"

"You'd betray your king?" I said, raising my eyebrows.

"Not on your life!" He replied. "But I'm not gonna betray Sora, either, 'cause he's become one of my best buddies after all we've been through together!"

The duck joined him too.

"How will you fight without a weapon?" I asked, dazed.

"I know now I don't need the keyblade. I've got a better weapon: my heart!"

"Heh, your heart?! What good will that weak little thing do for you?"

"Although my heart may be weak, it's not alone. It's grown with each new experience, and it's found a home with all the friends I've made. I've become a part of their heart just as they've become a part of mine. And if they think of me now and then… if they don't forget me… then our hearts will be one.  
"I don't need a weapon; my friends are my power!"

Suddenly, the keyblade went back to Sora.

The dark presence left my body. Once I realized what I had done, I ran away.

"Why?" I asked a cloaked figure. "It was mine!"

"Know this: the heart that is strong and true shall win the keyblade."

"What? You're saying my heart's weaker than his?!"

"For that instant, it was. However, you can become stronger. You showed no fear in stepping into the door to darkness. It held no terror for you.

"Plunge deeper into the darkness, and your heart will grow even stronger."

I sighed and shook my head. "What should I do?"

"It's really quite simple; open yourself to the darkness, that is all. Let your heart, your being, become darkness itself."

Again, I felt a weird presence –Ansem – take over my body.

All I remember next was …

"_Don't make another move!" screamed Donald._

"_Impossible!" said the presence that took over my body. _

_I came out – my soul, at least – from the presence (somehow). "No!" I screamed forcefully. "You won't use me for this!"_

"_Riku!" Kairi said._

_I looked at her. It was the old Kairi again. "You've gotta run!" I warned her. "The Heartless are coming!"_

_She nodded once, and she, Donald, and Goofy ran away._

* * *

Ever since then, I've been on a search to find a way out of the darkness. I was also trying to help Sora along the way, since it was the least I could do.

I hadn't realized what I was doing until after the presence left my body. When I realized what was going on, I secretly came up with a plan to leave this place. Though I leave this place behind, the darkness will forever haunt me.

Once you're in, there's never a way out, is there? It's just like everything else out there, I guess.

When I woke up in this strange place, about a few months after the _fake_ Ansem took over my body, I heard another voice.

This time, however, the voice guided me to a place where everything was white (no darkness); Castle Oblivion. There I discovered two things: one, Sora would be in a deep sleep for a while, and two, my appearance may never change (I still look like the fake Ansem).

The _real _Ansem and I are working together, trying to get my appearance back to normal and trying to help Sora out of his state of sleep.

Yet according to Namine…

"Riku?" she said, befuddled.

"Yeah. It's me…."

"What … happened to you?"

I sighed. "Long story. How long is Sora going to stay like that?"

Namine looked down with a guilty look on her face. "I'm sorry, Riku. I don't know… it's not going to be over soon though. It could be a year, two, three, four, or … seven."

Up to seven years without my best friend?! If he still wants to be my best friend after what happened when I went to the dark side…

It was weird; sometimes I'd have my normal appearance, as Riku, the almost-sixteen year old, but other times I'd appear like the fake Asnem. I couldn't control it, I'd just wake up and see which appearance I had that day.

I wonder what my family thinks of me now. They don't know _anything _about me joining the dark side – and it's going to stay that way – but I just hope my family didn't jump to conclusions when they saw the note on my bed and me gone.


	5. The Light Within the Dark Presence

**Alright everyone! This is the last chapter!**

**OH BEFORE I FORGET**** – I went back and edited the last chapter, if you want you can take a look at it, I just took out the part where Riku bumps into Melody, I looked back on it and realized how much I didn't like that idea.**

**I realized also, I was re-reading some of the newer chapters, I was kind of rushing through it. I wasn't quite sure about the whole Riku-going-into-the-darkness-and-never-coming-back thing, so some parts of the chapters aren't as good as they could have been. I also just wanted to be done with this already, and especially since I don't think there's **_**any **_**more I can write about Riku, Sora, Kairi, or Melody (or maybe even Leon) in this setting.**

**Please R&R!! And for those who liked this, tell me what you think :)**

**(I'm thinking of maybe starting another story soon, but I have to come up with a few new ideas. Or I might just take a little break from writing on fan fiction, but I don't know yet.)**

* * *

**Chapter 5**

_Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry  
You don't know how lovely you are.  
I had to find you, tell you I need you,  
Tell you I set you apart._

_Tell me your secrets and ask me your questions,  
Oh lets go back to the start.  
Running in circles, Comin' up Tails  
Heads on a science apart._

_Nobody said it was easy,  
It's such a shame for us to part.  
Nobody said it was easy,  
No one ever said it would be this hard.  
Oh take me back to the start._

_I was just guessin' at numbers and figures,  
Pulling your puzzles apart.  
Questions of science, science and progress  
Do not speak as loud as my heart._

_And tell me you love me, come back and haunt me  
Oh and I rush to the start.  
Runnin' in circles, Chasin' up Tails  
Comin' back as we are_

_Nobody said it was easy,  
Oh it's such a shame for us to part.  
Nobody said it was easy,  
No one ever said it would be so hard._

_I'm goin' back to the start._

_Ahhhh oooooo  
Ahhhh oooooo  
Ahhhh oooooo…_

I was walking down the street, listening to my iPod, and thinking what to do next. Sora, good for him, figured out all my clues, and is now on the way to the actual Kingdom of Hearts. Kairi's trapped in there, taken by Axel, and what role do I play? The Clue-Giver?

Well, not this time. This time, _I'm _going to fight.

I pulled the hood of the cloak over my head, and started walking towards the light. Slowly… slowly… disappearing… into the light.

* * *

"R-Riku?" Kairi said slowly as she pulled the cloaked hood of my head.

I averted my eyes and nodded. How could she recognize me when I looked … like _this_? Like some sort of monster?

She hugged me. "I missed you! But … why do you look so different? Why … why do you look like _Ansem_?!"

"It's a long story," I said, and went on with the story, and how the dark presence never leaves. "Come on, we should go help Sora."

She blushed and nodded her head, a thing the old Kairi would do. So she _isn't _like Selphie anymore. That's good to know. "Where is he?"

"Somewhere here."

She rolled her eyes. Okay, so maybe she wasn't the _old _Kairi, but at least she wasn't as much like Selphie. "_That's_ helpful."

"Isn't it?" I said, my voice drowning with sarcasm.

We walked forward and I gave her a keyblade. "Here, take this. You'll need it."

She gaped. "You're giving me the Oathkeeper?!"

"Well, it's always been yours, I just kinda… kept it for safekeeping."

"WHAT?! So all this time, I had a keyblade too, but I didn't know because _you wanted to keep it for safekeeping_?!" She said, getting dangerously close to me with her keyblade held high.

I put both my hands up, as if I was being arrested. "Hey, it's not like it was _my _idea!"

"Then whose idea was it?"

"Can't tell you, I'm sworn to secrecy. The person who told me to wills to remain anonymous."

She raised her eyebrows.

"This person doesn't want you to be mad at him or her."

She blew hair bangs away and out of her hair. "Whatever."

We moved along, and from below the balcony, we saw a tall, skinny, spiky-haired blue-eyed teenager, a duck, and a dog. "That's them," I told Kairi.

She turned around quickly, and looked down from the balcony. "Sora! Sora!"

Sora turned around, with a dumbfounded expression on his face. His eyes met Kairi's, and he smiled and blushed. "Kairi!" he said. Then, a whole lot of Heartless jumped on him and attacked him.

"Stop! Don't hurt my Sora! I mean don't hurt Sora!" At this I was cracking up, but then I realized that this was not the time.

Kairi jumped down from the balcony – which was pretty high up, might I add – and with my help, we defeated all those Heartless.

After Sora and Kairi greeted each other and hugged and all that, Sora turned to me. "YOU!" he said, giving me this rant. "You tried to take over the worlds, and you have the nerve to show up here?"

"Sora—" Kairi said, trying to stop him from continuing.

"NO!" He shouted at Kairi. "Because of this guy, _all _of our lives were in danger! Especially Riku's, wherever he is!"

"I'm right here, you dimwit!" I said, loosing my patience. How long was it going to take Sora to realize that it was me?

"Don't trick me! Although that is something Riku would say…. But that just means you've done your homework, right, Ansem?"

Kairi huffed and took Sora's hands. "Here," she said placing all of our hands atop the others. "Close your eyes. Trust me, Sora."

Sora gave Kairi a weird look and closed his eyes. When we opened our eyes, Sora fell to the floor and started – kind of – crying. "Riku… all this time… I've been trying to find you…. Why did you hide from us?"

"I never hid from you, Sora. I was the one helping you, giving you all those clues. I didn't want you to see me because … because of _this_," I said, pointing to my face. "My appearance. Ever since Ansem took over my body."

"But… all these years…"

"Yeah, but you know you wouldn't have greeted me with open arms. Take your reaction to seeing me like this before you knew it was actually me, for instance. Anyways, it went by faster for you since you were asleep for one or two of those years."

"So, then, I guess it is true, isn't it?"

"What do you mean?"

"The whole 'the dark presence never leaves' thing?"

"There's a 'thing' about that?"

"Yeah, try listening to King Mickey sometime. Or the real Ansem. It should help you."

* * *

I eventually got my appearance back, after we were all fighting some of the Heartless. It was shocking actually, but I'm back for good now.

Sora and I entered a portal to another world, in which we once and for all defeated Xemnas. After that we were left in the realm of darkness until Sora received a _love letter_, as I like to call it, from Kairi.

Then, suddenly, a bright, light portal opened up.

Sora stood up quickly. "TDTL. The door to the light," he said.

"You sure you wanna leave?" I asked.

He held out his hand. "Come on. Besides, there's no place like home."

I took his hand. "Yeah."

We entered the door to the light.

* * *

All I could remember next was the sensation of spinning, spinning, spinning, upside down, unconscious. Then, I hit the ocean water with a thump.

Sora and I shook the water off our hair and faces, and we saw Kairi, the King, Donald, and Goofy waiting for us ashore.

"Sora!" Kairi called. "Riku!"

Sora laughed, looked at me, and started swimming or running – I couldn't tell which, it was kind of both – towards Kairi, of course. I swam behind, keeping a little of a distance.

When Sora got ashore, he was tackled by Goofy and Donald. I met the King and picked him up.

Kairi held out her hand to Sora. "You're home," she said with a smile.

A vague image of Roxas and Namine flashed before my eyes, which probably was _not _a hallucination.

Sora took out the lucky charm Kairi had given him before and took her hand.

* * *

I sat on the paopou tree alone, watching the sunset.

Okay, well maybe I wasn't totally alone. Sora jumped over the tree and stood next to me. "Feels good to finally be home, doesn't it?"

"I guess. I just wish I could've explored more though. And I wish I hadn't been absorbed into the darkness."

Sora shrugged. "It's in the past now. Besides, now that we're home, we're safe."

"I hope so. But…"

"But what?"

"But the dark presence never leaves, Sora. You said it yourself. I'm never going to be the old me again. I'm never going to be _Riku_."

"That's not true. First of all, do you even want to be the old you? I don't think so, and you know why. How long was it since you last thought of her anyway? Exactly. Secondly, just because there's _a little bit _of a dark presence in you, that doesn't mean anything. You should know by now that the light always wins over the dark, and I know for a fact that there is light in you. Some where deep, deep down," he added, laughing.

I chuckled. "Wow. I guess you're right."

Sora put his hands behind his head and relaxed, leaning against the tree. "I guess I am."

"Guys!" Kairi came running, panting, and she was holding something in her hand. She showed it to us, and it looked like a letter in a bottle. "From the King," she managed to say.

Indeed, there was the King's stamp on it. Sora took the letter, opened it, and we all read it. The letter read:

'_A friend from the past shall return;  
__Though you may not remember her,  
__However much you yearn.  
__Just remember, 'tis __music__ she does prefer,  
__She is a keyblade wielder too,  
__So, just know,  
__She might as well join your crew.'  
_

"I wonder what he means by that," said Kairi.

Sora and I exchanged glances. He gave me a meaningful look, but I didn't understand what was going on.

Who was the King talking about anyway? And why would Sora give me a concerned look about that person?

* * *

_AH, WHO AM I TRYING TO KID?!_

I know _damn_ well who the King was talking about, and I know _damn_ well why Sora gave me that look. That very same girl was the reason for my darkness. That very same girl was the one that made me who I am today. That very same girl was she who broke my heart over ten years ago…

That very same girl is Melody, my first love. And she's coming back, to Destiny Islands.

But now, she's not just my first love. Now, that she'll be back, she's going to be the love of my life; because I know that's how long our relationship will last.

So maybe the dark presence will never leave. But no matter what, the light will always override the darkness, especially with Melody back in my life.

She _is _my light, the light from within. Always has been, and hopefully always will be.

But who am I kidding? I'm getting way too ahead of myself. Only time will tell; I'll just have to wait and see.

And, until I meet this girl again, I have to make sure of one thing – that the dark presence inside me doesn't quite leave, but that it makes room for the light that's soon about to outshine it.

Soon.


End file.
